The conald, during his “executive time” watching fox and friends had someone read him exerpts of the scathing new book about the dysfunctional trump white house and the low regard with which his staff and cabinet members regard his intellect. He countered that he is a genius or in his words, “like, really smart,” furthermore in his own assessment “a very stable genius.” He had previously thrown down the intellectual gauntlet to his secretary of state, rex tillerson who had referred to him as a forking moron, by daring him to take an iq test to see who is in fact the smarter cookie.
I am sure his staff shifted into super overdrive figuring out how they could create an intelligence test that could possibly display the conald’s superior intellect. Their solution was to have have both men sit for a stanford-binet test of intelligence. The test for mr tillerson would contain actual sample questions from the real test whereas the conald’s test would contain a somewhat different series of questions. For added insurance, the president’s test would consist of ten questions and mr tillerson’s 135 questions. But in the interest of fairness, both men would be given equal time to complete their tests.
MJE has obtained copies of the tests and is happy to share a sampling of them with her loyal readers…
The real questions are listed first with multiple choice answers, followed by the conald’s “alternative” questions and answers:
- Four individuals form a business and create a contract to divide the profits equally among the four. Gary invests $11,000, Neil invests $4,000, Jill invests $5,000, and Steve invests $8,000. The profits at the end of the year are $5,600. How much less does Gary receive than if the profits were divided in relation to the amount invested by each owner?
Answer: $1000, $1400, $800 or $2200.
Alternative trump question:
Four individuals form a business and create a contract to divide the profits equally. How much of the profits does each investor receive?
Answer: one tenth, one fiftieth, one fourth, zero. Contracts are for losers. I would get 100%. Winners don’t share.
- The number, “three thousand, eight hundred, sixty-eight,” when written backward, is read, “eight thousand, six hundred, eighty-three.”
Answer: true or false
Alternative question:
Spit written backward spells tips.
Answer: true or false
- Tony gets married next month. One year ago from the date he will get married, Tony was away in Spain for New Year’s Eve. What month is it?
Answer: October, November, January, February, December
Alternative question: Where is Spain?
Answer: Paris, Equador, the failing European Union or Manitoba
- Do the words credit and acclaim have opposite meanings, similar meanings or no relation?
Answer: opposite, similar or no relation
Alternative question: What is credit?
Answer: A way to buy things with money you don’t have, a piece of plastic that gets you free stuff, how you build a business with other people’s money and never have to pay them back, or all of the above
- Three painters can paint three walls in three minutes. How many painters are needed to paint 27 walls in nine minutes?
Answer: 3,6,9,12,15
Alternative question: Where is our really fantastic amazing president going to build a great big beautiful wall and who’s going to pay for it?
Answer: Between Dallas and San Bernadino-paid for by St. Louis, between Brooklyn and Reno paid for by Minneapolis, between us and them-paid by them, obviously, or between Florida and Nebraska-paid for by Spain.
Both tests are extremely difficult, but from comparative percentage of correct answers provided by mr tillerson and mr trump it is clear that mr trump’s intellect and reasoning power are superior. His ability to reduce complex problems to the least mentally taxing analysis is unprecedented and when it comes to “thinking outside the box” he literally has no equal.
my jaundiced eye 