myjaundicedeye

what’s a santa to do

MJE is extremely disturbed about what is fast becoming an existential crisis that will adversely affect every parent of every lousy brat on the planet. I’m not talking about global warming, that’s chump change compared to the apocalypse on our very doorstep. Think about it…you’ve got the holiday season nipping at your ass. This isContinue reading “what’s a santa to do”

isis inc

MJE has just learned that an Isis budget for the month of October from one of the provinces it controls was smuggled out and released to the press. Turns out, even isis has bean counters. It reads like a spread sheet from IBM for god’s sake. Who knew they used Quickbooks Pro Desktop 2015,Continue reading “isis inc”

the henpecked terrorist

Achmed, get your sorry muslim ass out here! WTF??? Is this the sum total of pipe bombs you’ve made this week???? Seriously, what are you doing out here, playing fantasy fatwa? You tubing your Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi imitation? Binge turban shopping on Alibaba? Again. Are you a terrorist or a terrier because I really can’tContinue reading “the henpecked terrorist”

terror r us

Okay so MJE is now officially totally and royally pissed off at the goddam terrorists. What is it with these people, why can’t they sit in their basements watching pornography and masturbating like normal guys. Really. Think about the time and effort it takes to schlep out to a gun show in some godforsaken desertedContinue reading “terror r us”

BYOT

Stephen Colbert had a rant the other night about the GOPers going nucking futs in their insane attempts to out Islamophobe one another. Their first volley was that we don’t have enough vetting to prevent Syrian terrorists from getting into the country despite the two year long vetting program that’s already in place. Therefore weContinue reading “BYOT”

si triste

MJE had a post ready to publish earlier this week on her utter confusion regarding the seemingly countless number of factions fighting and killing each other in the middle east. It was supposed to be a caricature of the whole state of affairs, but given what happened in Paris this week end it doesn’t seemContinue reading “si triste”

is it now yet

I was shopping online for a new wall clock for our kitchen. It’s been 3:27 pm for the last two weeks and even though I know that before I even look at the damned thing I am still caught off guard every time. It’s like when I’ve used the last staple in my stapler, andContinue reading “is it now yet”

the joys of burdenhood

Well it has been a difficult stretch chez MJE. The OB&C and I have been desperately trying to extricate ourselves from our daughter Albatross’s lifelong self-induced financial plight. A pretty bad seed from the get go she has blossomed through the years into an extremely onerous and invasive plant. She has, however produced two wonderful children,Continue reading “the joys of burdenhood”

toddler shoots grandma

Dateline: Rock Hill, SC MJE came upon this bit of news the other day and it struck her (although certainly not as hard as the aforementioned grandma) as pretty disturbing. Sweet ole granny’s lugging around her grandson to walmart and the like while his parents are god knows where, and what does she get forContinue reading “toddler shoots grandma”

blimps away!

That wacky bunch of knuckleheads over at the defense department have gone and pulled another boner. This time a huge spy blimp they had floating over Maryland managed to go AWOL. I had no idea that our entire eastern seaboard was protected from incoming missiles by a big balloon tied to the ground by aContinue reading “blimps away!”