Howdy kids! Long time no communicate, mea culpa. MJE has been laser focused on a rigorous path to self-improvement. Better diet, more exercise, no booze… Hell no, why would I go to all that effort and deprivation when the answer is so much simpler… google angie’s list of people who best wield a scalpel nearContinue reading “rx: skinny STAT”
Category Archives: humor old age gravity
mardi grawwwww and beyond
MJE is still recovering from mardi gras in the big sleazy, whoof.! It gets harder to bounce back from debauchery every year. However, it’s required. Curious how seriously christians take a festival that originated in pre-christian rome as saturnalia. There are undeniable similarities between the two… A mock king is chosen and honored during theContinue reading “mardi grawwwww and beyond”
dripping, slipping and itching oh my
MJE has made her annual pilgrimage to the big sleazy, gotta keep those home fires burning baby…make sure the OB&C remains fat and happy. He is, as per usual, plagued by a litany of ailments, several typical of people in his demographic. i.e. aging men. Most of his distressing conditions are generally located in anContinue reading “dripping, slipping and itching oh my”
I deeply apologize to my long-suffering followers who have been stranded in the desert without MJE to offer sage advice on how to survive the current political shit show. You’re not going to like it but here’s my down low: we are all of us thoroughly screwed and we’re going to remain screwed for theContinue reading
plumber my ass
The OB&C recently received a very stern letter from the state plumbing board of the great state of louisiana citing him for soliciting plumbing without being licensed by the aforementioned governing body, specifically that he is “in violation of the laws of the state of louisiana, more specifically, l.a.r.s 37:1361 et seq.” It goes onContinue reading “plumber my ass”
summit or sand trap?
Holy mother of pearl… how in less than a day did the conald manage to piss off all of our closest allies, basically telling them to go fork themselves, because we are goddam america and we don’t need you pathetic needy pipsqueaks. Not in the trenches, not in the foxholes, not in the deserts ofContinue reading “summit or sand trap?”
hamburger heaven
Well thanks to yet another tragic disappointment at the hands of big brother technology MJE has missed about 2000 news cycles since last week. So, this post is being updated to reflect the deviation in the earth’s rotation caused by the united states of america’s declaration of independence from the tectonic shift theory in orderContinue reading “hamburger heaven”
melanoma’s safe space
No woman that I can think of would ever welcome any sort of kidney infection, no way no how, unless you are melanoma that is. My guess is that she most likely considers her current condition to be nothing short of a gift from god. Ensconced in a luxurious private room in a hospital acrossContinue reading “melanoma’s safe space”
unlocked and unloaded
MJE just read the announcement that amazon prime members may now have orders delivered directly to their cars! As I interpret it, you download an app onto your cell phone and when the delivery man is within 2 blocks of your car he opens “the trunk” and drops your stuff right in there. He thenContinue reading “unlocked and unloaded”
charm offensive
I know MJE constantly whines about customer service agents, but this time I am giving kudos to not only whoever penned this beauty but also the poor souls who are required to answer incoming calls with this greeting… Agent: How may I charm you today? MJE: Huh? Agent: How may I charm you today? ThatContinue reading “charm offensive”
my jaundiced eye 