double trouble

Posted bymyjaundicedeyePosted inUncategorizedTags:, , , ,

People stop me in the street, well at the canasta table, and ask MJE why aren’t you writing about the politics of the country, surely there is more than enough juicy material to satirize. I couldn’t agree more, but if you have a fire hose aimed at your face, it’s hard to take a swallow. It’s just too much, and most of it is so incredibly stupid and nonsensical that it’s self satirizing. It does not need any help from mje.

I feel like mje needs a “breaking news” segment. By the time I go for the throat of some totally dumb ass move but before I can wring its neck it’s been reversed or “walked back.” I could get whiplash trying to keep up with the comings and goings of governmental pronouncements. (note to self: order neck collar on amazon) Tariffs on mexico and canada, blink and you miss it. Mass deportations of “millions of violent illegal aliens,” well not so much. However I do have a bone to pick with use of the word “aliens,” it seems sort of outdated. I’m pretty sure it has been established beyond a doubt that the people that are to be deported are earthlings.

Just a thought: What if trump and kristi “puppy killer” gnome, our esteemed head of homeland security, want to erect facilities to hold illegal immigrants but discover that they can’t do it because there’s no one left to build them…🥸.

Trump has neither the bandwidth nor the attention span to dismantle the federal government so now he’s brought in a maxi-me, et voila….the truskox is born and settling nicely into the lincoln bedroom! He and his muskrats (god I wish I’d thought of that one…) have burrowed into the treasury department, the usaid offices, the governmental payroll offices, the department of education, the cia, fbi, and any other intelligence divisions, cutting and slashing (which seems decidedly short sighted as the one thing we could really use about now is some intelligence), and gods know what else. I for one believe in working from the top down to address waste fraud and abuse in government, do that and in this case your job is virtually complete. Leave the 20 year veteran bean counter in treasury alone, (exception*: mje is being audited so if one specific irs agent might be furloughed indefinitely go for it ) because, trust me, he or she could spend eight hours a day, seven days a week 365 days a year trying to noodle out ways to gyp the government and never come even close what the one person sitting behind the resolute desk does in a day.

Trump and musk are truly a match made in the fifth circle of hell. Neither of them seems wholly human. They both have distinctively non-humanoid physical characteristics. Musk has a decidedly reptilian visage. The pallor, the slit eyes and mouth and his general demeanor are so suggestive of a snake (definitely venomous) that I half expect him to display a forked tongue when he hisses out some garbled pronouncement in that weird accent. Snakes move quickly and stealthily, strike with little warning and are capable of overtaking and consuming prey ten times their size (see: donald trump.) Competitors beware. Snakes also have an attitude, think they are above others in their class and give off a “don’t tread on me” vibe. Never turn your back on a snake, they are unpredictable and dangerous.

Trump presents more of an aged sea turtle demeanor, what with the folds of leathery neck skin, the sluggish movement and beady eyes. Turtles move slowly, but they never lose sight of where they want to go, so you can pick one up and put it down miles away and it will return to the spot where its journey was interrupted. However, turtles, unlike trump are deliberate in their actions and do not act rashly or impulsively because it takes so damned long to correct their errors. Trump never acknowledges his mistakes so he has no need to change a thing, but like a turtle he just keeps moving shambolicly on toward his desired intent, unless he forgets what it is and wanders off towards the next shiny thing he catches sight of.

It hasn’t even been a month and the muskrats have weaseled their way throughout the federal government kicking ass and taking names. One might ask, where the hell are our duly elected government representatives? The capitol is silent as a grave. Where are all those “strict constitutionalists” when you could really use them. They can’t get to a microphone fast enough when someone from the other side tries to pull a fast one. They get their knickers in a twist over dei, which to me is simply an abbreviation for being fair, but are mute when thousands of vitally important but low level government employees (who are also their constituents) are given the boot without notice or due process.

Mje doesn’t think this particular bromance will survive the test of time. Two of the biggest egos on the planet cannot occupy the same space together for long. Already fine lines of fracture are beginning to surface, musk on the cover of time? dum de dum dum But trump may not be able to flick musk off like the do do birds in his last administration. The richest man in the world surely won’t go gentle into that good night. But when the inevitable break up happens, it’s sure to be a barn burner. So pull up your lawn chairs kids, grab a drink, and watch the fireworks.

In the meantime, buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Leave a comment