porn r us

Well, it seems the suave european doc of yore didn’t translate well into the medical milieu of the low country as well as his employers, and manufacturers of his revolutionary robot had hoped. Turns out we all haven’t just fallen off the turnip truck as they thought. But damn he was the only doc I’ve ever had, besides my cousin dilbert, who ever told me not to stop drinking. I doubt lightening will strike twice at my age.

For readers who have no idea what the fork I am writing about, then I have just one thing to say:

GO READ MJE’S PRIOR POSTS, I DO NOT HAVE THE TIME, ENERGY NOR MENTAL BANDWIDTH TO REWRITE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST TUNING IN. GROW UP. CATCH UP. KEEP UP.

Sorry, needed to get that out of my system, perhaps a bit overwrought, but I literally can’t rewrite that which I have already written. It’s hard enough to do it once, like having a baby, why would anyone want to replicate that experience. Full disclosure, had my first baby with an epidural so it didn’t really count. The second one I thought I would tough out “naturally,” unfortunately, by the time the going gets tough, it’s too late to call in the pharmaceutical cavalry and it’s just you and excruciating pain. Not to get too deep in the weeds here, or raise a long simmering resentment, but while I was dilating at a snail’s pace, the ob&c, whose laboratory was just across the street from the hospital, slunk out to check on an ongoing experiment with a glib..”Look, if this is going to take awhile, how about I just check on things at the lab and be back in a few (what, minutes, hours…?). Absolutely dear, no problemo, I’m just lying here enduring waves of pain that no man would be able to tolerate, trying to push a basketball sized object out of a golf ball sized exit.

Now I have completely forgotten what I meant to write about. Hmmmmm. Oh, yeah MJE has just discovered that the ob&c and our grandson ambrose have bonded over pornography. Yep, you heard that right. Sweet little ambrose, excellent student, amiable (not to me but…) inadvertently sent his grandpa a bunch of videos of shark attacks, bear attacks, etc, but whoa nelly!!!! all of a sudden soft porn images start appearing followed by very hard core porn. Talk about an oops. Well not to the ob&c, he felt, that as a scientist, he needed to really delve deeper into these images. I expect he’ll be spending a lot of time in the bathroom with his cell phone analyzing them.

Grandparents used to bond with their grandchildren over fishing or hunting, maybe coin collecting or sports memorabilia, but come on, this is the 21st century, get with it dinosaur. Apparently a joint multi-generational appreciation of the most graphic pornography, short of snuff videos, is the tie that binds. Fellatio is the new philately.

They grow up so fast then stop in 7th grade