MJE seriously underestimated the depths to which she would be subjected when she thought she’d bottomed out what with being forced to lie in the gas chamber for hours on end. Turns out, the god of malicious medical technology was just warming up. The first indication was that the doc of the perpetually afflicted decidedContinue reading “the little bastard”
Author Archives: myjaundicedeye
blast off
The latest salvo to be launched against MJE’s body’s seemingly unquenchable desire to self-destruct is Hyperbaric Chamber therapy. It involves lying on a gurney inside a plastic tube into which pure oxygen is pumped and pressurized to three times the normal. The purported benefit is an increase in the oxygenation of the blood, stimulating theContinue reading “blast off”
X$&? #@
The last post was dedicated to MJE’s current state of hairlessness, which at press time seemed to be a fairly significant side-effect of the chemo treatments. But this week I have careened into the fine print in the drug pamphlet. Those side effects that are on about page 40 and are described as “possible, butContinue reading “X$&? #@”
the human thumb
MJE continues to be plagued with various unwanted consequences of a few too many cocktails, and no I don’t mean waking up and finding the dog wearing her underpants or discovering the bird feeder on the kitchen counter filled with mixed nuts and surrounded by bloated house mice. Those are the result of an overindulgenceContinue reading “the human thumb”
interiors for idiots
You can imagine MJE’s surprise upon opening this week’s Sunday NYT Magazine and finding the house where MJE and the OB&C got married! Back in the day, it belonged to my stepfather Monsieur Zero whom my mother had married in the vain hope that he would provide her with a carefree existence of travel andContinue reading “interiors for idiots”
solar pope
MJE doesn’t like to beat a dead horse vis a vis religion, but a friend sent me a solar powered pope today in honor of his holiest’s visit to South America and just couldn’t resist. First, a wise geographic move il papa, since there are only two continents worth your time, the one you’re onContinue reading “solar pope”
god talk
MJE was listening to the radio this morning and happened upon a panel discussion among evangelical churchers regarding the recent supreme court decision legalizing same sex marriage. Frankly I don’t get the whole flap. Most married heterosexual couples I know want to kill each other on a pretty regular basis, and if same sex sexContinue reading “god talk”
infusiastic
MJE is relaxing in a periwinkle blue recliner getting infused. And I’m not talking about with the holy spirit either. And from the looks of it am glad because if this place is what the kingdom of heaven looks like then I’m taking a U turn at the next opportunity. My fellow infusiasts look likeContinue reading “infusiastic”
will maybe work for tats
The OB&C and MJE made a major decision the other day, after years of extortion we decided that we would draw a red line on the yoga mat and no longer pay Albatross’s rent. She is able bodied, if feeble minded, she shares her apartment with another person and presumably she is milking Krylon’s allegedContinue reading “will maybe work for tats”
wig wam
My pal Aloe and I went to the big city to buy MJE a wig earlier this week. The local cancer center had recommended some joint that is geared toward the “special needs” of chemo patients. It’s called “Aftercare Essentials” a head scratching (literally) name that doesn’t give a consumer who’s not in the knowContinue reading “wig wam”
my jaundiced eye 